Phun With Portuguese Phonics

[This started out as a letter to a friend, but I decided to share it with a wider audience. Names have been concealed to protect the innocent.]

A couple of weeks ago, we started the Milton Nascimento song "Louva-a-Deus" in my chorus. I had to go in front of the group and demonstrate the Portuguese pronunciation, line by line. Unfortunately, I never had a chance to check my pronunciation with a native speaker, but I think I was reasonably close to the pronunciation on the recording.

I have never seen so many blank faces turned my way. You would have thought that this language had been dropped from another planet. EVERYTHING was strange. I would have thought that there were enough cognates between Spanish and Portuguese that at least some of it would be recognizable to those who understand some Spanish, but I think everyone's mind was collectively blown. I had carefully written up a two-page pronunciation guide and given it to the director in September, but she confessed that she still had trouble figuring out the pronunciation, even though she had phonetic guides written all over her lyric sheet.

"Senhora Dona!" I started out, in my most ringing tones (which still didn't carry through the room, no matter how I tried). "That's 'SeNYOra DOna."

Blank stares. Finally: "The 'h' is silent?"

Director and me, more or less together: "The 'nh' is a 'ny' sound."

Blank stares.

Me: "'Nh. Nh.' It's kind of like peanut butter on the roof of your mouth."

Blank stares.

Me: "It's just like ñ in Spanish. When you see 'nh', think of n with a tilde, if you know Spanish."

Blank stares. After several repetitions of "Seeeeennnhhhhhhoooooraaaaaaaaa Doooooooooooonaaaaaaa" by both myself and Director, the group replies, more or less in unison, "Senhora dona". They sound unsure of themselves.

Me: "Eu lhe dou. E-u llllhhhhhheeeee doooooooou."

Blank stares.

Director, hastily: "Just say 'ye' for 'lhe'. It goes too fast to sing all the consonants; it comes out as 'ye'." (According to a native speaker, it is also possible to substitute "li". I didn't know that at the time.)

They reluctantly manage this. "eu" seems to be beyond them.

Me, getting panicky and covering up with maniacal grinning: "Eu. Ay-oo. Eu neu!"

Blank stares. Director scribbles pronunciation notes to herself.

Raised hand: "So 'dou' is 'doh', not 'duu'?"

Me, firmly: "Every time you see an 'ou' it is always 'oh'. Never 'uu'."

They digest this rule, which counters English spelling rules (such as they are). Director frantically writes notes to herself.

Eventually:

Group: "Senhora dona, eu lhe dou..."

Me: "Meu coração. May-oo cooooooraaaaaaaasssssssããããããão."

Horrified stares. Director scratches out the "cow" in her phonetic notes and replaces it with "sow". The group obediently choruses "corasow" after a few more repetitions. No one even attempts the nasalization. I don't mention it.

After about ten minutes of sweating, we have completed the first line. Director says we should have done this first thing in rehearsal, rather than saving it until the second half.

Me: "Fazei de mim..."

Group: "Gee?!"

It takes several repetitions to get them to accept that "de" is (in some circumstances) pronounced like "jee". I sense waves of hostility emanating from my fellow singers. They don't like this.

Raised hand, from the webmistress, who is taking notes like a demon for the chorus's website: "Is that 'mi' or 'mimmm'?"

Me, sweating: "'Mim'." I say "mi" with a strong nasalized sound at the end, but do not make an actual 'm' sound. I hope this is correct. (I checked with a Brazilian friend later and she said this was indeed correct. Whew.)

Webmistress: Looks dubious but writes it down.

Someone from bass section: "So you want that nasalized?"

Me, inwardly shrieking with joy: "Yes, PLEASE! If at all possible, anyway."

Group: "Fazei de mim."

Me: "o seu altar".

Group, en masse: "UUUUU?!" (They are confused by the "o", which they logically feel should be pronounced "oh".)

After several repetitions of my insisting on the illogical 'u' for 'o', they acquiesce. Director looks distinctly shellshocked. She continues to annotate furiously, crossing out every single "o" and replacing it with "u".

Me: "seu Louva-a-Deus."

Raised hand: "Djayus?"

Me: "No, 'Deus'. Hard 'd'."

This is too much for the chorus, who painstakingly learned to pronounce "d" as "j" and are aghast that their hard work has gone to waste. I cower. Director takes notes.

We are now at the end of line two. Director suggests we pick up the pace a bit.

Me: "Nasci para ser..."

This isn't too bad. They agree to lightly flip the "r".

Me: "a sua escrava, guia."

Much confusion at my dividing "su" and "a es" into different syllables. I explain the elision. Director gets it. Eventually, so does the rest of the group.

Me: "guia"

Webmistress: "Is that a hard G or a soft G?"

Me and Director: "Hard G."

Confusion here. Everyone got used to soft g sounds. Hard g sounds seem unfair after all this work.

After much grumbling, we have completed line three.

Me: "Sonhei a estrada"

Not too bad. The "nh" of "Sonhei" is a little confusing, but they've seen it before.

Me: "...que me traz o dia." I sweat a bit, wondering if I should say "zh" for "traz". I don't, I just leave it an ordinary z sound, as Milton sings it.

"que" and "me" knock them for a loop. According to Spanish, the sounds should be "ei". According to Portuguese, it's "ii". This is deeply unsettling. After some back and forth, they acquiesce, with the nervous smiles generally shown to the terminally insane.

The group doesn't like "o dia". They have to change "o" to "u" again, AND say "jia" for "dia". I think of the regional pronunciations which pronounce the d in dia, and sweat. Please let me be doing this right. Milton says "jia". Doesn't he? I don't let my qualms show, and insist on "jia".

The group is close to mutiny at this point. Director is getting writer's cramp. End of line four.

Me: "Senhora deusa..."

At last something vaguely familiar. They chorus "Senhora deusa".

Me: "da..."

Group: "Da."

Me: "...paixão".

Incredulous stares.

Me: "Paaaaaaiiiiiissssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhãããããããoooo."

Someone in group: "X is SH?!"

Me: "YES!"

Dubious looks. No one tries to nasalize the ão, and I don't insist on it.

End of first verse. I'm about ready to keel over. This is hard work. Director cheerfully informs us we're halfway through the song, isn't it great? Mutinous murmurs from the fed-up chorus.

We sail on into verse two.

Me: "Quero ventre e o pensamento". I repeat "peeeennnnsssaaaameeeeeenttttuuuuuuuuu" about five billion times. They eventually get it. Some of the group is also picking up on how to pronounce "o" without much prompting.

Me: "Quero o vinho e quero o pão."

"Vinho" causes trouble, for some reason. They still haven't figured out the "nh" sound. "Pão" is almost impossible. Eventually we settle on "pow".

Me: "Quero o leito, quero a mesa."

Some question about whether "mesa" is an s or a z sound. Director opines it's in between. (Later, my consultant says it's a "z". Oops.) Group glares at us. Director reads the line back, stumbling on "o". Members gleefully point out it should be "uuu". Director sweats.

"Quero a casa e a oração."

Same question with "casa", s or z. Mixed again. (And again it's a "z". My bad.)Grumbles. "Oração" is greeted with horror. I repeat "Oooorrrrraaaaassssssssssssoooooooowwwwww" a few billion times until they get it. Again, they don't nasalize, although I have done so in my demonstration.

Last line.

Me: "Senhora dona da paixão."

They almost know this one; there are some familiar sounds. After several repetitions, they have it.

Director, with maniacal cheerfulness: "And that's the whole song! Isn't it short?"

Group glares at us. I slink back to my seat.

Fortunately, general good humor is restored when several people go to the drums and start playing, while Director outlines the melody on piano. General grooving and swaying to the music, and comments of "Cool song!" I slump in relief. I am forgiven.

Comments

[Tvindy]

The funny part of this is that if "pão" is not nazalized, it turns into a different word and completely changes the meaning of the sentence (in an unfortunate way).

[Teka]

That would be really, erm, inappropriate for this particular group, too. Perhaps I should have a word with Director.

[Kimberly]

Great story, Teka! I've banged my head against Portuguese phonics only once, when I spent a week in Brazil on very short notice. I thought my (limited) Spanish would help, and it did somewhat, once I'd mapped the differences and correspondences in sounds. Of course, my older Spanish knowledge kept reasserting itself, sometimes with (according to my hosts) hilarious differences between what I thought I'd said, and what I'd really said.

[Teka]

I have the opposite problem when I try to speak Spanish to people. There's only so long I can keep it up until I lapse into fractured franglais-ish portunhol. Frustrating for both of us.

[sophia]

Some consider Brazilian Portuguese phonetics the easiest aspect in learning the language; just try to conjugate all the verbs...but between English phonetics (unless you're a native speaker) and Brazilian phonetics, I take Portuguese anytime.

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