Once again it's the day of the week when I post some old writing or creative work from my past. All the good stuff has already been posted. Now I'm just scraping the bottom of the barrel. Just when I think the barrel has been cleaned out, I find another patch of crud stuck way down on the bottom.
Today I will post a never-before published poem I wrote when I was ten. It is the second poem I ever wrote. (The first one was written in second grade and was something along the lines of a cat wearing a hat that sat on a mat that was flat.)
So without further ado:
Once there was a piece of shit,The genius of this poem is that you can substitute any two-syllable name for the word "someone" and have the poem be about them.
That lived in someone's big fat pit.
One day someone had to shit,
Only the shit wouldn't fit.
So they took some Ex-lax
And a bowl of tacks,
But all they got was a bunch of cracks.
None of my friends was ever that impressed with my creation, and it was even pointed out to me that it didn't really make sense. Therefore when I was eleven, I rewrote the last three lines as follows:
So they bought some Ex-laxStrangely, even with the improvements, it never really caught on.
And paid the sales tax,
And the shit split.