Bakerina's Music Meme

Bakerina's post unintentionally set off a new meme that is sweeping the internet. It involves posting your favorite smutty or suggestive song lyrics.

To understand my choice, you need some background info. Several years ago when I was doing my famous solo overland trip from Indiana to Brazil, I was traveling through Colombia by bus. Unlike on Greyhound buses here in the US, not only is onboard music not prohibited in Colombia, but the bus driver actually blasts it into the passenger compartment for everyone to enjoy. There is nothing like nonstop merengue music on a twelve-hour bus trip. After all, it's not like any of the passengers would be so silly as to want to sleep or read or talk amongst themselves or think coherently.

The one good thing was that there was little repetition. We got to hear an all-merengue radio station rather than tapes. But it wasn't exactly all-merengue. One in awhile (about one time out of twenty), it would play something American. Colombia, at least at the time, was one of the least americanized countries in the world. Really the only sign that the US even existed was the tiniest trickle of American music. But the selection was weird. Either it would be something really old, like endless love, or it would be something hopelessly obscure.

Once in the midst of my merengue lobotomy, the radio started playing something entirely different. The contrast and general weirdness of it almost drove me insane. The lyrics and song title are available by clicking on the "continue reading" link below, but you should experience this as I did, with no explanation whatsoever. Just click on the audio link to hear it. (Sorry about the horrendous sound quality.) It begins with a rythmic beat and then explodes into some very unorthodox lyrics:

audio post powered by audblog

Once the singing began, I burst out laughing. And then I stopped when I saw that no one else was laughing. There wasn't even a smile. Clearly no one else on the bus spoke english. And I doubt anyone at the radio station understood the lyrics either. Here they are, by the way (courtesy of LyricsBox):

Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man

Don't don't don't don't don't don't
Don't don't don't don't
Don't want don't want don't want don't want
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man

Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man
Don't want don't want don't want
Don't want don't want don't want
Don't want don't want don't want
Don't want don't want don't want
Don't want don't want don't want

What in the world is that thing?
Do you need some tweezers to put that little thing away
That has got to be the smallest dick
I've ever seen in my whole life
I have ever seen in my whole life
Get the fuck outta here

Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man
Don't want don't want don't want don't want
Don't want don't want don't want don't want
Don't want

Uh! Uh! Uh! ....
Isn't that cute an extra belly button
You need to put your pants back on honey

Don't don't don't don't don't don't
Don't don't don't don't
Don't want don't want don't want don't want
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man

Iny wee iny wee ....
Iny weeny teeny weeny shrivled little short dick man

Pobre, pobrecito
Que diablo eso
Pobre, pobreci, pobre, probrecito
Que, que, que, que, que diablo eso

Don't don't don't don't ....

Once I made it back to the US many months later and was finally able to get online (This was back in 1999.), it took me forever to track down the artist and song title, and even longer to find it on Napster. But as you can see, I did it. Now it's one of my favorite songs. It's called "Short Dick Man", and its by 20 Fingers. Go buy yourself a copy today.

Comments

[Bakerina]

(blink)

(blink)

Wow.

(blink)

Seriously, thank you for playing, and for sharing that brilliant story. That song is a riot, and the context in which you first heard it only makes it better. I'm picturing you, in the midst of your 12-hour merengue lobotomy, wondering if you were hearing what you were hearing, or if your mind had just snapped. *That* is the stuff of great comedy.

You know that this song is a total earworm, right? That I'm going to hear it in my head all day, and that it will be tremendously difficult not to start singing it? Our new consultant has been placed in the cubicle next to mine, and I have the feeling she would not be amused. :)

[Snowball]

I played it on the speakers here in my office for everyone in the paperwork mines to enjoy. I'm not quite certain why, but it seems to make them all a bit nervous. Could it be because I'm the only woman working here? There's wisdome in those lyrics. ;-)

[leigh]

Hysterical!

[Tvindy]

Yes, people do seem to become nervous when they are introduced to that song. I guess it hits a nerve. Bakerina, you definitely don't want to be caught singing that out loud. Fortunately, there's an easy cure that will get this song right out of your system: bananaphone.

[Jenny]

Thanks for bananaphone - you're right about it obliterating any other songs that might get stuck in you head!

[Morgan]

I actually remember hearing that song on the radio at some point (junior high, maybe? when I still listened to pop stations) - but the lyrics were changed to "don't want no short short man." The gist was still quite obvious.

[Tvindy]

Morgan, wow, I've never met anyone else who knew the song in any form. You people in Seattle have so much culture sometimes it freaks me out!