Ever since I started blogging, I've wanted to write a how-to guide for bloggers. I have lots of thoughts on the process, but, since I probably don't know any more about it than a million other bloggers, I'm holding off on that until the day I actually know what I'm talking about. In the meantime, Tony Pierce has written an excellent article on how to blog. My list would be a bit different, and I think it will be fun to comment on Tony's points. I'll take them one at a time:
1. write every day.
Yes.
2. if you think youre a good writer, write twice a day.
That's a recipe for burnout. If you've got two great topics, you're very fortunate. Choose one, and save the other for tomorrow. I try to write every day, but I never allow myself to post more than once a day.
3. dont be afraid to do anything. infact if youre afraid of something, do it. then do it again. and again.
Perhaps it would be better to just do it once and study the repercussions before repeating it.
4. cuss like a sailor.
Don't cuss at all for days on end, and then, all of a sudden, do it gratuitously just to prove you can.
5. dont tell your mom, your work, your friends, the people you want to date, or the people you want to work for about your blog. if they find out and you'd rather they didnt read it, ask them nicely to grant you your privacy.
I've found the opposite to be true. Tell everyone in your life about your blog, and no one will ever read it. Forbid them from reading it, and they'll never miss an entry.
6. have comments. dont be upset if no one writes in your comments for a long time. eventually they'll write in there. if people start acting mean in your comments, ask them to stop, they probably will.
Let them be mean to you, but don't put up with anyone who uses the comment space to insult your other readers.
7. have an email address clearly displayed on your blog. sometimes people want to tell you that you rock in private.
I really need to do that.
8. dont worry very much about the design of your blog. image is a fakeout.
Yes, at least at first. If you've been blogging for five years and still use the default template, then you're just being lazy.
9. use Blogger. it's easy, it's free; and because they are owned by Google, your blog will get spidered better, you will show up in more search results, and more people will end up at your blog. besides, all the other blogging software & alternatives pretty much suck.
I'm much happier with TypePad. (Does Google really do a better job of crawling Blogger sites?)
10. use spellcheck unless youre completely totally keeping it real. but even then you might want to use it if you think you wrote something really good.
Yes.
11. say exactly what you want to say no matter what it looks like on the screen. then say something else. then keep going. and when youre done, re-read it, and edit it and hit publish and forget about it.
Yes.
12. link like crazy. link anyone who links you, link your favorites, link your friends. dont be a prude. linking is what seperates bloggers from apes. and especially link if you're trying to prove a point and someone else said it first. it lends credibility even if youre full of shit.
It is possible to overdo this.
13. if you havent written about sex, religion, and politics in a week youre probably playing it too safe, which means you probably fucked up on #5, in which case start a second blog and keep your big mouth shut about it this time.
Does anyone out there really want me to blather on about sex?
14. remember: nobody cares which N*Sync member you are, what State you are, which Party of Five kid you are, or which Weezer song you are. the second you put one of those things on your blog you need to delete your blog and try out for the marching band. similarilly, nobody gives a shit what the weather is like in your town, nobody wants you to change their cursor into a butterfly, nobody wants to vote on whether your blog is hot or not, and nobody gives a rat ass what song youre listening to. write something Real for you, about you, every day.
Hey, those things are marginally interesting to me . . . sometimes. (But I won't stand for anyone who changes my cursor into a butterfly.)
15. dont be afraid if you think something has been said before. it has. and better. big whoop. say it anyway using your own words as honestly as you can. just let it out.
No.
16. get Site Meter and make it available for everyone to see. if you're embarrassed that not a lot of people are clicking over to your page, dont be embarrassed by the number, be embarrassed that you actually give a crap about hits to your gay blog. it really is just a blog. and hits really dont mean anything. you want Site Meter, though, to see who is linking you so you can thank them and so you can link them back. similarilly, use Technorati, but dont obsess. write.
Yep, check your stats occasionally, and see who's linking to you. Just don't do it more than once a week.
17. people like pictures. use them. save them to your own server. or use Blogger's free service. if you dont know how to do it, learn. also get a Buzznet account. several things will happen once you start blogging, one of them is you will learn new things. thats a good thing.
Pictures are good (unless they're of knitting).
18. before you hit Save as Draft or Publish Post, select all and copy your masterpiece. you are using a computer and the internet, shit can happen. no need to lose a good post.
Essential.
19. push the envelope in what youre writing about and how youre saying it. be more and more honest. get to the root of things. start at the root of things and get deeper. dig. think out loud. keep typing. keep going. eventually you'll find a little treasure chest. every time you blog this can happen if you let it.
I need to do this more.
20. change your style. mimic people. write beautiful lies. dream in public. kiss and tell. finger and tell. cry scream fight sing fuck and dont be afraid to be funny. the easiest thing to do is whine when you write. dont be lazy. audblog at least once a week.
Yes, audblog once a week. (If you do it, it might encourage me.)
21. write open letters. make lists. call people out on their bullshit. lead by example. invent and reinvent yourself. start by writing about what happened to you today. for example today i told a hot girl how wonderfully hot she is.
I tend to steer clear of wonderfully hot girls. (Or perhaps it's the other way around.)
22. when in doubt review something. theres not enough reviews on blogs. review a movie you just saw, a tv show, a cd, a kiss you just got, a restaurant, a hike you just took, anything.
Reviews are always good. Here's an example of a good one I read today.
23. constantly write about the town that you live in.
What if I never leave campus?
24. out yourself. tell your secrets. you can always delete them later.
Deleting entries is a sin. Besides, they'll just end up in the Google cache.
25. dont use your real name. dont write about your work unless you dont care about getting fired.
check
26. dont be afraid to come across as an asswipe. own your asswipeness.
An unwiped ass is the devil's plaything.
27. nobody likes poems. dont put your poems on your blog. not even if theyre incredible. especially if theyre incredible. odds are theyre not incredible. bad poems are funny sometimes though, so fine, put your dumb poems on there. whatever.
check
28. tell us about your friends.
Do I have to?
29. dont apologize about not blogging. nobody cares. just start blogging again.
Apologies aren't necessary, but it's nice to provide some sort of explanation for a longer-than-usual pause between posts. People worry, both about you and whether or not you plan to terminate the blog.
30. read tons of blogs and leave nice comments.
And you might think about using an RSS aggregator to help keep track of them all.
if you're going to ripoff/mimic/be inspired by one blogger make it raymi, shes perfect.
Does she have boobies? (embracing my inner asswipe)