Tvindy

Smoking Kills!

Cigarette warnings are much more emphatic in Portugal than here in the US. This translates as "Smoking kills".

And here is one that says "Smoking may cause a slow and painful death":

The duty free shop in the airport carries cigarette packs with translated warnings:

Serenity

I made a point of seeing the first showing of "Serenity" yesterday. Amazingly, other than myself and my parents, whom I forced into going, there were only nine other people in attendance. I certainly hope that Muncie, Indiana is not representative of the rest of the country's reception of the film. Not only were there no crowds, but the cinema had chosen that morning to paint a guardrail inside the theatre, and the patrons were advised individually not to touch it.

My expectations were pretty much met. I thought it would be an extremely good movie but not an excellent one, which is the same way I felt about the series, that should never have been canceled. Joss did an amazing job of establishing the context without an overabundance of exposition. Unfortunately, wonderful as it was, the movie just couldn't tell the story as well as a television series. Whedon's storytelling strength lies primarily in character development and continuity, things which require far more time than a two-hour movie can provide. The events of "Serenity" would easily fit into one or even more additional seasons of "Firefly".

WARNING: minor spoilers ahead

The movie completely wraps up the story of River. Actually, a lot of it is just a glorified version of the final "Firefly" episode "Objects in Space". But I liked "Objects in Space" more. And of course, there are other interesting story lines. We learn quite a bit about the reavers (although I still wonder about their day-to-day lives when they're not running around pillaging). Also, one or more main characters die.

I've just read the comics, which weren't all that interesting. Basically they explained that Shepherd and Inara left the crew before the start of the movie. And they revealed something interesting about the hands-of-blue guys without actually revealing the purpose of the blue. I really expected to see Mr. Universe, since Mal seems quite familiar with him in the movie. But no; he just seemed to come out of nowhere.

To summarize: Great movie, bad comics.

Mediocre Movies

I went to a drive-in theatre last night, which was the first time I've gone in several years. They had a double-feature of Sharkboy and Lavagirl and The Longest Yard. The first one would have been more enjoyable if the drive-up cashier had actually remembered to give me a pair of 3D goggles (not to mention the correct change). Also, I think there were some plot holes as, for example, in the part where Mr. Electric uses electric eels to knock out Sharkboy. Lavagirl had to nearly sacrifice her own life to save him, saying that he could only hold his breath so long. But it was well established that he had gills! Why would he need to hold his breath at all? And how could he hold his breath if he was unconscious? I also didn't understand what happened to the eels. Why didn't they attack Lavagirl when she entered the water? And who was that disembodied face that commanded Mr. Electric? The second movie was much more straightforward and was actually a remake/sequel of its namesake. It did seem a bit odd that the warden's assistant had such a big change of heart at the end for absolutely no good reason.

Stocking

This is my Christmas stocking. My mother knitted it for me before I was three. I've been annoyed at her for the past few Christmases, because she stopped putting it out (along with my brother's) for Santa to fill. After several complaints, she finally saw the error of her ways and got out the stockings. For some reason, she put them under the tree rather than hanging them over the fireplace, but Santa was still able to figure out what was going on. This morning it was stuffed with good things.

Many many years ago I started a Christmas tradition of always leaving a bit of candy in the stocking before it got packed away. Then the following year when the stockings were unpacked there was always a bit of last year's candy inside. I seldom ate it, though, because there was always fresh candy to be had, but it was a cool practice nonetheless. I just kept putting the same candy back in every year. I believe that the candy it contains now is the same that I first saved when I was ten. How cool is that?

The presence of stockings this Christmas is a very good sign. It may mean that I'll actually get an Easter basket next year. God, it's been so long! I doubt the Easter bunny still remembers me.

Merry Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus/Holidays

Young Society Matrons

In my language teaching course, the prof was showing us transparencies of old teaching materials. This is a page from a very old Spanish language textbook. I thought the caption under the photo was particulary interesting. Unfortunately, all of the matrons' faces are off-screen.

And the Moral Is?

The other day as I was driving to Target listening to NPR, I heard one of the funniest and most entertaining things I've come across in a very long time. Fortunately, I've managed to track it down on the internet, so you can hear it too. Just click here. Then click on the Real Player icon in the upper left margin of the page, and advance the time bar position to exactly 36:00. You'll hear one of the greatest short stories of all time. (Although I think that one bit about the nanny goat was probably awkwardly translated.)

Instruction Decoding

These are the directions from the back of the packet of Brazilian pão de queijo mix I made the other day. If you're only now tuning in and have no idea what I'm talking about, you can read all about pão de queijo here. If you want to mix, you can buy it here.

Working with these instructions brought back memories of my time in Brazil. This is a country with one of the highest discrepancies of wealth between the rich and poor (even worse than here in the US). As a result, there is a great deal of illiteracy, which the government there deals with by investing huge amounts of money to make society livable for those who can't read. For example, the subway system in São Paulo is set up so each station is decorated with a distinct geometric pattern of a particular color to help those who can't read identify the stops.

Just because someone can't read, doesn't mean they don't buy and prepare food. Also, nearly every Brazilian household middle-class and above has a maid who does most of the cooking, and many cannot read. Here we have a set of bilingual instructions (for both readers and non-readers). And even though we have similar illustrations to accompany cooking instructions here in the US (perhaps for immigrants), the ones in Brazil are much more detailed and ingeniously thought out.

In the first panel, the meaning is very clear: dump the powder in the packet into a large pink mixing bowl, along with two fried eggs, an eggshell, and a drop of water. Actually, the eggs are portrayed like that to make it clear that both whites and yolks are to be added, since recipes in Brazil call for only the yolks much more frequently than they do here. The broken shell serves to indicate that the eggs are actually raw, even though they appear fried. Measuring cups are not common, so Brazilians use actual teacups for measuring. Here we see that the cup is about half full. Since only a tiny drop has started coming out, we can see that it started out half full (as opposed to already being half-emptied into the bowl.

The second panel is a bit puzzling. Obviously you are supposed to mix the ingredients, but why not use a wooden spoon? I did.

Then you make little balls and put them on a cookie sheet.

In the fourth panel, things get weird again. You put them into the oven, but why is the interior blue? Perhaps the blue gas flame is lighting it up. And is that an over mitt? Why does it have fingers? Notice the numberless clock face. If someone doesn't know their numbers, they can just count five five-minute intervals on their clock at home to time the baking. Notice also that there is no given temperature. Typical Brazilian gas stoves don't have temperature settings, so it's just a choice between low flame, high flame, and no flame. If you try this mix, I suggest 350° for thirty minutes.

And just in case you're curious about the text, here is my translation:

Place the contents of the packet in a medium-sized mixing bowl and add half a teacup of cold water and two eggs.

Mix well until all the liquid has been absorbed. CONTINUE BLENDING UNTIL THE DOUGH BECOMES SMOOTH AND HOMOGENEOUS.

Make little balls and place them on a cookie sheet, leaving space between them so they don't stick together.

Stick them in a pre-heated oven for 25 minutes or until the breadlets (little loaves) become golden.

Brazilian Blogs

Ever since I started blogging, I've been hoping to find some good Brazilian blogs to read. I've logged more than three years living in Brazil, so this would give me a great opportunity to practice my Portuguese and keep up with the goings on there. Occasionally I would check out a few Brazilian blogs to see if I could find any gems, but I never did. Finding the blogs was never hard. Brazil is overflowing with them. And Blogger even has an entire section set up just for Brazilians.

Last night I decided that I would devote as much time as necessary to finding at least one excellent blog to make a regular read. I started combing through them one-by-one, but there just wasn't anything. The blogging phenomenon may have taken Brazil by storm, but it's just something done by kids. There is no real content, at least not in anything I found. Mostly it's just teenagers trying to have a cool-looking site rather than something unique or informative. The actual content is nothing more than day-to-day ramblings about school and friends, and sometimes there is bad poetry.

There is however, something to be said for cool. kittyss world has the most spectacular template I have ever seen in my entire life! I mean, holy poop!!! American blogs never look like that. I did some investigating and discovered that the template was designed by a fellow named Bruno Maximus, who is also Brazilian. Check out some of his designs. (It's too bad snowball already found someone to redesign her template; otherwise I'd be sending her over to Bruno for a Hello Kitty makeover.)

One interesting thing about Brazilian blogs is the abbreviated writing style. I know we American bloggers often take shortcuts. (For example, receptionista usually doesn't capitalize the first letter of each sentence.) But some Brazilian blog entries read like instant messenger conversations. I find this phenomenon really interesting because of my interest in language. Here is an entry taken from Blig: Meninas:

21/05/2004 00:31
oieeeeeee!!!!!!genteeeeee!!!
nossaa faix mó cara q eu 
naum escrevo aki neh???
eh a merda du meu mouse 
quebro....maix agora
ja comprei otro....
bom....
meu niver passo.....
ahhh tenhu 13 aninhus agora!!!!
rsrsrsrsrs....
bom naum aconteceu nada...de bom!!!
eh neh faze oq....

Now here's what it would like like in regular Portuguese:

Oi, gente!
Nossa. Faz a maior cara [???] que eu
não escrevo aqui, né?
É que a merda do meu mouse
quebrou, mas agora
já comprei outro.
Bom,
meu aniversário passou.
Ah, tenho 13 aninhos agora!
risos
Bom, não aconteceu nada. . . de bom!
É, né. Fazer o que?

It's practically a different language. And if you're curious, here is what it would be in English:

Hi, people!
Wow. I Haven't written here
for the longest time, right?
It's that my shitty mouse
broke, but now
I've bought a new one.
Well,
I had my birthday.
Ah, I'm 13 little years old now!
laughs
Well, nothing has happened. . . nothing good!
Yeah, right. Whatcha gonna do?

I'm still hoping to eventually find a few good Brazilian blogs, but the situation looks pretty bleak. Receptionista e-mailed me about dandrums, which is the only Brazilian blog I've come across with real content, but the Brazilian is blogging from London. If anyone out there knows of any others, please let me know.

Annoyances

Jenny is inviting everyone in blogdom to share ten things in their lives that annoyed them this week. Usually I try to keep my complaining to a minimum as a courtesy to my readers, but I guess I should be willing to give the public what it wants. Here goes:

10 Things That Have Irritated Me This Week

1. My digital camera is giving me trouble.


2. The RA in my dorm is never around and, as far as I can tell, never actually does anything, even when he is supposed to.


3. My mail is delivered to a box in another building. The people who sort the mail are supposed to put up a sign that says when the mail has arrived and is being sorted and another sign that says the mail is all out. Usually they forget about the sign. Often there is a sign up saying that the mail has not arrived when, in fact, it has already arrived and been sorted. As a result, whenever I check my box, and it is empty, I have no way of knowing whether or not the mail has been sorted. Perhaps I got no mail, or perhaps it just hasn't come yet. It is annoying to have to make several unnecessary trips to another building. If they would just manage their signs correctly, I would be spared so much time and trouble.


4. Receptionista seriously hurt her coccyx and would not go see a doctor, despite the urgings of many people. We were all terribly worried, but she finally went, so yay.


5. My Portuguese teacher just got back from Brazil. She had promised to bring me back twenty kilos of this cheese, and then she didn't. Needless to say, I was devastated.


6. Actually, quite a few of this week's irritations have to do with Portuguese class. One of them is that it is time for us students to plan our year-end presentation to the other language groups. My feeling is that we should present something that draws on what we have been learning in class or that would supply useful or interesting information to the other groups, two of which are comprised of less advanced Portuguese students. One suggestion I had was that we could each select one aspect of the grammar that we found particularly interesting and briefly present it to the group. Instead, we are doing a Portuguese version of some show on the comedy channel. I can't even begin to tell you how much that sucks.


7. Also in Portuguese class, we got into the subject of headlice. I was telling the teacher (who is Brazilian) about the interesting cultural phenomenon that occurs in the US when young boys start making a big fuss about girls having cooties. One of the students interrupted me and said that cooties are not lice; they are completely made up and do not actually exist. Well, that's not what the dictionary says.


8. Anyway, from there the teacher explained how in Brazil the big parasitic infection that children tease each other about is worms. She seemed to think that worm infections were just a tropical problem. I started to explain that we have them here in the US. Then one of the students (a different one from annoyance #7) disagreed with me. When I started to cite evidence to the contrary, he shouted "MAS NÃO É MUITO COMUM!" He won the argument by virtue of having a louder voice. But he is wrong. I know for a fact that worm infections are very common in the US. According to this article, up to one in three American children will get pinworm, and that is only one species of infectious worm.


9. I am annoyed with myself for not budgeting my time as well as I could, especially in view of the fact that the year is coming to an end. If I don't get completely on the ball soon, some of my final grades may end in disaster.


10. Someone told me that I complain too much.

So there you have it -- a good healthy dose of ugly negativity.