Tvindy

Barbie Girl (foreign)

Some years back I was using Napster (the authentic one) to look for Barbie Girl by Aqua. (That song is a classic.) Doing a title search, I quickly discovered that there are many alternate versions by various artists. My favorite was one that came up twice, once calling itself the "German" version and then again as the "Hebrew" version. Both were identical, so at least one was mislabeled. Even though I couldn't understand the lyrics, I found that I liked it even more than the original version by Aqua, which, for all its greatness, clearly pales in comparison.

Determining the language took months. At first, I assumed it was Hebrew, because it obviously wasn't German. But then a friend of mine with a strong knowledge of German pointed out that Hebrew is normally much more guttural and that it was more likely that it was actually Bavarian German, which is radically different from standard German. This theory was strengthened when I played the song for a couple of Germans who, although they could not make out one word of it, were unable to rule out Bavarian German as a possibility. I liked this theory, because there were clearly some Germanic words present in the lyrics, such as "sportif" and a very intriguing phrase that sounds just like "like a freighter".

On the other hand, perhaps it was Danish. It certainly didn't sound like Danish, but the Danes do have a lot of weird dialects and strange manners of speaking. And Aqua is a Danish group. Who knows? Perhaps it was even by Aqua.

Subsequent investigations however, have led me to believe that Dutch is the correct language. Someone in this thread credits the song to Dutch musician Ome Henk. But perhaps this will not be the final word as I have yet to play this song to a native Dutch speaker for verification. Also, Ome Henk's website lists a poopload of his songs, but I can find no mention there of Barbie Girl.

In any case, those of you on my weekly MP3 mailing list will shortly be receiving a copy in your inbox, so you can enjoy it in the privacy of your own home. (No doubt Snowball will be listening to it at work, where it should create quite a stir.) For those of you not on the mailing list, you can enjoy a flash version of it here.

The Julekalender

As most of you know, I've started a weekly feature in which I talk about selected songs from my MP3 library. Today I will talk a little about Scandinavian Christmas music. Several years ago I spent a few months in Copenhagen, and I got to experience Christmas over there. An interesting phenomenon is their annual Christmas television special called The Julekalender, which means advent calender. It's actually a sort of mini-series, and, true to its name, they show one installment every day from December first to the 25th. Unfortunately, my understanding of Danish was never more than rudimentary, and I had little time for watching TV, so I can't really say much about the stroyline, except that everyone told me it was too elaborate to be able to explain to me.

What really fascinated me were the musical numbers. Every once in awhile the characters would burst into song, and more than a few of the songs became immensely popular. You'd hear them all the time on the radio or over the PA system at shopping malls, and carolers would even sing them. I was told that every year there was a new Julekalender on TV with new music, so additional songs were introduced every year. What I find really extraordinary about all this is that, in all my travels to different parts of the world, Scandinavia is the only region I've encountered that actually creates its own Christmas music. Everywhere else I've been just imports the same old stuff we listen to here in the US, like "Jingle Bells", "Silent Night", and "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer". And even in the US, we don't seem to have the creativity to generate any new Christmas music.

One of the most interesting things about these songs is the amount of English in the lyrics. In Denmark (and presumably also in Sweden and Norway), everyone born after WWII has learned English in school, so they have no difficulty with the words. Apparently it has nothing to do with trying to market the songs to the world, since, although CDs do exist, I don't think it's possible to acquire them outside of Scandinavia. (If you know of a way, please let me know.) Each song is a weird and wonderful hodgepodge of English sprinkled with words from Scandinavian languages (mostly Norwegian, I think). Those of you on my MP3 mailing list will have received a copy of "It's Hard to Be a Nisseman". ("Nisseman" means elf.) You can follow along to the lyrics here. You can also download a shorter version of that song as well as two others at the very bottom of this page.

♪Exclusively for Bakerina♪

A few days ago, I proposed a regular music feature in which I would write entries about various songs and e-mail the featured song as an MP3 to anyone with a gMail account (or any other account that can accept multi-megabyte attachments). So far, only bakerina has signed up, so she's the only only one who will be getting this.

I'm kicking this off by recycling an old entry. You can read (and sort of hear) about the featured song here. And Bakerina can hear the original high-quality version.

Gonzo Science

I know finding great new music to download isn't anything new, but since I got my new iPod Mini, my interest in this practice has been revived. As I said before, I have made a few additions to my playlist, but finding an absolute gem is very hard. I'm not easy to please music-wise. I tend to like songs that are highly lyrical and a little bit silly. Yesterday, though, I came across a veritable treasure.

Here's how I found it. I was reading Bill's latest post, in which he offered a download to an obscure song that he believed was no longer available anywhere else online. A commenter replied with a link to a site that did, in fact, offer that song as well as the entire album which contained it. I checked out the site, and, on the off chance that they might have something else of interest to me, I scrolled down and checked out the other albums. That's how I discovered this.

Gonzo Science is the work of Jim Richardson and his brother Allen, both of whom believe that scientific orthodoxy unnecessarily holds back new ideas which may be valid. Each track of the CD is the defense of a theory not generally accepted in the mainstream of science. But it's also a song. You can play it and rock to a defense of the Aquatic Ape Theory or to a criticism of the Big Bang model of the Universe. And the music is good. You could easily include one or two tracks in a party mix without anyone thinking you're some sort of wackadoo. (Of course for me, it's a bit too late to be worrying about that.)

But what I really like about these guys is that they're not nutcases. I love non-conventional theories, as anyone who has been reading this blog for any amount of time can attest. The problem is that most people who defend such ideas are usually a little nutty. They have no concept of the scientific method and are willing to pretty much believe anything, and if no one believes them, they think there's some big conspiracy out there trying to suppress the truth. For example, Coast to Coast AM is a great radio show, but they take everything seriously, including ghosts, UFOs, alien abductions, governmental conspiracies, and the fact that one of their regular guests was incommunicado for a couple of weeks, because he was traveling through time.

The Allen brothers, on the other hand, have a much more critical eye for such theories. This is perhaps more apparent on their website entries than in their lyrics. They consider the existence of the Loch Ness Monster highly unlikely, and they also don't believe that the US government has secretly acquired extraterrestrial technology. Most of the ideas they defend are things that I agree with, many of which I have already blogged about, such as the Aquatic Ape Theory, and life on earth originating in space. (The Expanding Earth Theory was new to me, though.) For more information on their scientific philosophy, listen to the interview on NPR and check out Debunking the Skeptics.

Adventures in iPodding

I'm still playing around with my iPod. The first thing I did was to download some of the better stuff I already had on my hard drive. Once I discovered Napster in 1999, I pretty much downloaded everything I could ever need within a six-month period. In terms of music I'm pretty much set, and most of what I got from Napster still isn't available in the iTunes library. (They don't even have Pippi Longstocking singing her theme song in the original Swedish.) Nevertheless, I have been doing some downloading of late.

It started when I heard about Linda Ronstadt's recent problems in Las Vegas. That was scary, and it illustrates that there are still a lot of Bush supporters out there. To show my support, I purchased two of her songs: "Don't Know Much" with Aaron Neville and "All I Have to Do Is Dream" with Kermit the Frog. Perhaps if enough people out there purchase Linda Ronstadt songs, we can save the country.

Then on Mind Pollution I read a really positive entry on a new band called The Mathematicians. I checked out their site, and they seemed cool, so I downloaded the two MP3s available for free to the public. It's good stuff. In fact, it's so good that iTunes doesn't offer it. But even though I appreciate it, I don't really think it's anything I would listen to on a regular basis, so I probably won't be purchasing their CD.

My latest discovery comes straight from Receptionista, who has more culture than you can shake a stick at. (For you Australian readers out there, that's "bloody heaps".) She recommends Scissor Sisters, which is in the iTunes library, but is very good nonetheless. After browsing through the first thirty seconds of each of their tracks, I ended up buying an entire album, so I could hear them in their entirety. I also got the Pink Floyd "Comfortably Numb" track to compare it with the Scissor Sisters version.

Now here's where things get a little screwy. In the middle of the download, the computer froze up and had to be powered down and restarted. (XP isn't supposed to do that, is it?) Fortunately, iTunes has a "Check for Purchased Music" command that lets it redownload stuff that's been paid for. Everything was recovered except for Scissor Sister's rendition of "Comfortably Numb". I tried buying and downloading it again, but it still wasn't didn't show up. Finally I browsed my iPod Mini's hard drive and found two copies there, which I was able to drag to my desktop and then my iTunes library and then back to my iPod. I guess having two songs with the same name, but by different artists, was what had caused the problem.

That's all I've downloaded so far. The question now is what I should do next. Perhaps I can take my iPod apart and put it back together again. This idea really appeals to me, but I don't have access to a hairdryer. Hmm, perhaps if I used a brute force approach . . .

Also of interest, Tim posted about an article he found, reporting that next Year at Duke University, all incoming freshmen will be issued iPods. The rationale is that they are experimenting to see if it can be used as an educational tool. But I think they're just trying to come up with gimmicks to attract new students and appear hip. After all, wouldn't some form of pocket PC be much better suited to the task (and less distracting to the students)? This isn't what the iPod was designed for. Can it record audio, as in classroom lectures? Yes, if you want to pay an additional $35 for something like this and still only be able to record in memory-hogging WAV format. Can you take notes on it? No. How about wireless capabilities, so the profs could just beam written documents right to you during a lesson? Of course not. An additional feature that would be great would be the ability to take pictures with it. (Currently I use my digital camera to take pictures of notes written on the blackboard, so I don't have to write them out.) I would love for Apple to create such a device modeled on the iPod interface. That would be awesome, and I would be one of the first in line to buy it. But the iPod itself just isn't there, and I think the administrators at Duke are on the pot.

Bakerina's Music Meme

Bakerina's post unintentionally set off a new meme that is sweeping the internet. It involves posting your favorite smutty or suggestive song lyrics.

To understand my choice, you need some background info. Several years ago when I was doing my famous solo overland trip from Indiana to Brazil, I was traveling through Colombia by bus. Unlike on Greyhound buses here in the US, not only is onboard music not prohibited in Colombia, but the bus driver actually blasts it into the passenger compartment for everyone to enjoy. There is nothing like nonstop merengue music on a twelve-hour bus trip. After all, it's not like any of the passengers would be so silly as to want to sleep or read or talk amongst themselves or think coherently.

The one good thing was that there was little repetition. We got to hear an all-merengue radio station rather than tapes. But it wasn't exactly all-merengue. One in awhile (about one time out of twenty), it would play something American. Colombia, at least at the time, was one of the least americanized countries in the world. Really the only sign that the US even existed was the tiniest trickle of American music. But the selection was weird. Either it would be something really old, like endless love, or it would be something hopelessly obscure.

Once in the midst of my merengue lobotomy, the radio started playing something entirely different. The contrast and general weirdness of it almost drove me insane. The lyrics and song title are available by clicking on the "continue reading" link below, but you should experience this as I did, with no explanation whatsoever. Just click on the audio link to hear it. (Sorry about the horrendous sound quality.) It begins with a rythmic beat and then explodes into some very unorthodox lyrics:

audio post powered by audblog

Another Meme to Try

I found this idea on Snowball's site:

1. Put your entire music collection on shuffle.
2. List (honestly!) the first 20 songs that play.
3. Post them on your blog for the whole world to see how cool and hip (or not) you are!

Here we go!

Trem da Alegria - Uni Duni Te
sing sing bb povestea lui shorty
ABBA - Mamma Mia
Martin Sargent - Download My Love
ABBA - Chiquita
ABBA - Dancing Queen
Weird Al Yankovic - Amish Paradise
Toto - Endless
Toto - Rockmaker
Ani Difranco - Shy
Twenty Fingers - No Short Dick Man
Sting - Don't Stand So Close to Me
Aqua - Candyman
Ani DiFranco - Imperfectly
Toto - Rockmaker
Toto - Girl Goodbye
Arlo Guthrie - Alice's Restaurant Massacree
Weird Al Yankovic - Slim Shadie
ABBA - The Day Before You Came
ABBA - Thank You for the Music

The Songbird Theory of Language Evolution

According to the Songbird Theory of the evolution of language, early humans first learned to sing, and only once they had become skilled at music did they begin to acquire actual language. They functioned much like songbirds, using elaborately crafted songs to attract mates. The more elaborate and complex the song, the greater the level of intelligence demonstrated and the greater the likelihood of attracting a mate. Natural selection would therefore have favored those who could best master complex rules of structure. This is how our ancestors developed the ability to handle the enormous complexities of syntax required to converse in everyday language. After that, it would not have been difficult to start adding meaning to the complex linguistic framework already in place.

Although this theory lacks any real physical evidence, there are a number of things about it that appeal to me. Firstly, I have studied several languages (which seems to be about all I do), and the deeper I get into a language the more amazed I am by its structure. Languages really are amazingly complex, far more so than is necessary for high level communication. (Check out the case system in Latin if you still have doubts.) Linguists are always uncovering new layers of subtlety in language, and there is no real hope that a single language will ever be fully described in all its nuances. If you were to analyze fully any conversation, even by the most uneducated individuals, you could write volumes about the structures that they use. Yet many people blather on endlessly using this immensely complex syntax while actually communicating very little. It's as if the syntax-creating structures in our brains have had far more time to evolve than the parts that convey meaning.

Also, there seems to be a prevailing view among linguists today that language arose suddenly fully-formed with no intermediate stages. This has always seemed ludicrous to me. If that were so, then we should be able to teach chimpanzees to communicate with fully-developed language just like us, if not by speaking, then by typing or signing. (They may be capable of some amazing communication using these methods, but it is not full-blown language, like in Planet of the Apes.) Linguists point to the fact that of all the thousands of languages and dialects spoken throughout the world, ever single one is fully developed and no less expressive than any other language. (Of course each one is specific to its cultural and geographic context.) Well, . . . duh! Obviously full language skills represent such an advantage that humans without such linguistic abilities would have long ago died out or taught themselves to master language. Just because there are no semi-verbal societies in the world today proves nothing. There are also no people in the world today who use stone hand axes, even though they were once commonplace. (We don't even know for certain how they were used, or for what.) The Songbird Theory provides us with an imtermediate step in human language acquisition -- probably one of many.

There is also the fact that music and poetry are universal to all cultures everywhere, without exception. This is interesting, considering that none of the other great apes are at all musically inclined. Music, even that which is accompanied by lyrics, seems to function different neorologically from regular speech. Some people who have suffered a brain injury, as in the case of a stroke, that causes them to lose the power of speech, can still sing perfectly well. So clearly, music is much more than just ornate speech.

For more information on this theory, check out this Discover article, which touches on it. For a more technical paper, go here.

My Take on iTunes

Now that iTunes has finally been released for the PC, I thought I'd check it out. Here is a blow-by-blow account of my first experiences with it.

Okay, that was an easy installation. Oh wait, I've still got to reboot. Rebooted. Now let's check this puppy out. Looks cool, definitely has an Apple look to it. Nothing wrong with that. Let's see, I want to search for songs, so I guess I highlight "Music Store". Now where do I enter the search terms? Oh, I see; it's up here. Now let's see just how comprehensive Apple's music collection really is.

I'll start with Holly Near. Okay, just one track that she did with some other musicians, including Arlo Guthrie, but not the one I was looking for. Speaking of Arlo Guthrie, let's see if they have "Alice's Restaurant". Huh? They don't?! That's not possible! Okay, maybe if I search under Arlo Guthrie's name rather than the song title. Okay, at least there is a good list of titles... Hey, wait a minute; you mean I can't scroll using my laptop's touchpad? Very annoying. Anyway, no "Alice's Restaurant". This is turning out to be rather disappointing.

Oh well, moving right along, let's see if they have anything by Twenty Fingers. Nope. And iTunes suggests that I might have meant "Wendy Sisters". Nuh uh. How about "Thimble Corner" (an old children's record I often listened to while growing up). No.

Let's switch gears and check out some foreign stuff. How about Brazilian music? Any Ultraje a Rigor? No. Raul Seixas? No. Well, I'm sure they must have something by Xuxa (not that I would be interested in downloading it). Also no. Well, maybe if I search for a genre, like Lambada? Just two tracks of lambada music that I've never heard of. You'd think they'd have at least one album dedicated to lambada music. How about the Romanian group Taxi? Once again, no. How about the theme song to Pippi Longstocking in the original undubbed Swedish? No. And they don't even have the English version!

Okay, so basically if it's not played on MTV, they don't have it. What's really annoying about this is that nearly all of these artists' works are easily found on KaZaa. But iTunes doesn't seem to have anything at all that I would want. I bet they don't even have Aqua (you know, being Danish and all that). Well what do you know; they've got two albums up. (Of course that is MTV music, but even so.) Hm, now how easy is it to play these tracks. Well, that was fast, and Barbie Girl sounds as cool as ever. And there's a list that ranks the tracks by popularity. Number two is "Cartoon Heroes". Let's take a listen. That was fairly good. Oh yes, I really should check out "Halloween", what with it being October. Nice.

And they recommend related albums. Let's see how I like "Queer as Folk". Ewwww! Not good. Very noisy. Let's go back and check out another recommendation. Ah yes, there is a back button. Good. How about "Vitamin C"? Not bad. And look, here is a visualization button. Does it not work? Oh, I see. It only works for downloaded tracks. I wonder why.

Now how about something more classical. Let's check out Victoria de los Angeles. Bingo! Four albums! That's definitely not MTV music. And on Kazaa, I've never been able to find more than a handful of tracks by her.

Okay, what's under radio? Hm. Good collection of genres. Let's check out international. Wow, two Iranian stations! (Of course I'd be more interested in listening to an Iraqi station at the moment.) Good sound quality, and I like that it displays the bitrate. Oh look, public radio. And talk radio, including a liberal station, of all things.

What else is there? Oh, there's a browse button in the Music Store. Maybe that'll lead me to some interesting content. Oh look -- Audiobooks! Any sci-fi? Yes! Wow, look at the list of authors! Any David Brin? No. (Well, his books are probably too long to make into audiobooks.) But there is stuff by Heinlein and Clarke. Oh look, Larry Niven. How much is "Ringworld"? $36.95! Ouch! I could get the paperback for a tenth of that! Lots of interesting non-fiction as well. They've got both Al Franken and Rush Limbaugh. (I guess they want to keep their selection "fair and balanced".)

I think that's enough exploration for one night. iTunes hasn't been a complete disappointment. I haven't purchased anything, but I haven't given up on it either. If the selection increases and prices come down a bit, then who knows; I may just become a regular customer.

For a more objective and comprehensive review of iTunes for Windows, go here.

How to Fix the Record Industry

I found a delightful rant about the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) at Jasonzada.com. This is how it begins:

Hi there. I just wanted to say, fuck you. You have stolen so much money from me and everyone I know that it's hard for me to feel sorry for you. Sue some 12 year old girl for downloading music? That takes some balls. Fight this all you want and I will hate you even more. Do you know how many people bought an album, then bought the same thing on tape, then bought the same thing on CD? Do you know much money you made off of each person as they re-bought music they had once paid a fortune for? I don't think you do.

It's a wonderful expression of rage which nevertheless manages to maintain rationality. And the author even goes so far as to propose solutions. (The comments from readers are also very interesting.)

I agree with just about everything he says. The record industry here in the US has clearly gone too far. They've had years to anticipate the effects of the Internet and adapt their business model, but it appears they've done nothing at all, and now they are suing their customers. Many people, myself included, refuse to buy any more new CDs. By refusing to adapt and by alienating the public, they may very well have done themselves in. Yet strangely, they still don't see that. Solutions exist, but it remains to be seen if they will ever be implemented.

Here is my proposal for what the RIAA should be doing to save itself. Most of these ideas are not my own, and a lot of them are just common sense, but I haven't seen them all put together before.

Stop Suing People
Stop suing private individuals for sharing files online. Apologize to those who have been sued, and refund their money, along with a sizeable gift certificate. Issue a press release explaining that the decision to file lawsuits was a terrible mistake and will not be repeated. (They should also stop hassling small Internet radio stations.)

Embrace the Internet
If the big record companies are to survive, they have to accept that in the very near future the bulk of their profits will come from online sales of downloadable music. It is in their interest (Actually it is a matter of survival.) that online music services, such as iTunes, are successful. (Ideally they would have their their own distribution networks for this, but they waited far too long; now they must partner with other companies.) They should be doing everything in their power to establish good relations with these companies and help them to grow.

Embrace File Sharing
But selling music online won't be enough, because this alone does not address the issue of file sharing. Contrary to what many people believe, file sharing is not synonymous with theft. It has many legitimate uses and will never disappear. If the music industry so chooses, it has the resources to create the greatest file sharing network ever. It could do for file sharing what Google has done for internet searches. And in the process it would drive other file sharing models, such as Morpheus and KaZaa out of business, simply by offering a better service. Here's how it would work. Once the network is up, all the record companies open up their entire libraries of music tracks to it in MP3 format and at various bitrates. The files would be tagged so that users could see which files on the network are the official releases and which are copies or creations produced by individuals. In the case of commercial music, most people would opt for the tagged versions, since they could then be certain of the quality and content of what they are downloading. As more and more files are downloaded by end users, the strain on the servers is lessened as users share files back-and-forth rather than getting everything straight from the record companies. Eventually, the service would need to be extended to include most other file types if it were to have the functionality of KaZaa. This would have to be introduced gradually to prevent the record industry from being sued for copyright infringement. But once the music sharing model proves to be a success, it would not be long before the movie industry would become open to partnering up, and perhaps eBook publishers would find a way to jump on board as well. The money would, of course, be made through subscription fees. I believe most people would be willing to pay a reasonable fee for the ability to download from the entire library of the music companies coupled with the knowledge that what they are doing is legal and benefits artists. As the service improves and proves itself to consumers and adds additional content and capabilities, it would be possible to raise the price a bit. The digital tags would make it easy to track what is being downloaded and in what quantities, so artists could be paid royalties on a per-download basis. Record companies would have the added benefit of seeing what music really is the most popular, literally on a minute-to-minute basis. It would also allow them to spot up-and-coming artists who burn their own music and do not yet have contracts. This would democratize music and help the record companies. What more could we ask?

Improve on the Music CD
We still have a strong CD-collecting culture in the US. People often go out and buy the very same music they download. It seems that people want a physical manifestation of the music and not just the data. There is still a demand for the CD, and that is the only reason the record companies are still in business. But now that we have reached a point where anyone can burn their own CD and there is a growing realization that buying CDs does much more to support the record companies than the actual artists, this will soon change, especially when coupled with public outrage directed toward the record companies on account of the lawsuits. But there is something that can be done; instead of music CDs, why not offer the public music DVDs with the music encoded in multiple levels to increase the quality beyond that of the CD and beyond current desktop burning technology. Offering a substantially better product should encourage the public to purchase it. And there could be all sorts of bells and whistles added, like posters or special codes for downloading special pre-releases or for getting discounts on concert tickets. There are all sorts of possibilities. And the DVD could still contain MP3 tracks for all the content for people to download to their computer or music player. I've heard the objection that this would only be a temporary solution, because eventually desktop recording technology would catch up. I don't think that's really an issue. The record companies should always have enough in the way of resources to stay one step ahead of all that. It might cost them a little more; instead of spending $1 to produce a $20 CD, they might have to spend $3.

Of course none of this is guaranteed. I'm certainly not qualified to propose solutions for saving multi-billion-dollar corporations, yet strangely I (and thousands of others) appear to be better qualified than anyone they have working for them. I suppose my main point in writing this is to say that the RIAA is not just the unfortunate victim of the exploits of illegal file swappers. There is a multitude of options that could be explored; but instead, they have chosen to waste their time on stagnation and intimidation.